Things You Shouldn't Say
Apr. 30th, 2012 12:16 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
misseDisclaimer: Don’t own or claim rights to Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Note: A passing comment in another fic I wrote spawned this abomination as I read over it. Being the generous sort that I am, I decided to let the world share my … delight in this little fic.
Note 2: I actually wrote the first section a month ago, and then got … inspired. It happens. For which I apologise. Thoroughly and sincerely.
The group huddled around the desk, and examined it’s charcoaled appearance. “Okay,” Xander nodded, “so it’s Buffy’s fault for sticking the horns and tail on it, and Willow’s for leaving it booted up when she left the library yesterday.”
“That’s not fair,” Buffy whined, “how were we supposed to know that would happen?” she demanded, waving at the still-smoking plastic.
“Yeah,” Willow nodded firmly, “and I always leave it running, just in case I need it again quickly. Or, you know, Giles could actually use it.”
Xander blinked, Giles gaped, and Buffy snorted.
“Oh, yeah, like that’s going to happen,” Buffy scoffed.
“Actually, I’d be thinking possession,” Xander decided.
Willow bit her lip. “Okay, so it’s a bit far-fetched. But it’s Giles’ fault more than anyone else’s. If he didn’t keep saying … that about it, it would never have happened.”
Buffy considered that then nodded. “Willow did warn you,” she conceded.
Giles scowled at the remnants of the computer. “Infernal machine,” he muttered.
~~~~~
Twenty-four Hours Earlier
“What are you doing?”
Buffy started, and stepped away from the computer. “Nothing!”
Giles scowled at the girl. “That would sound a great deal more convincing if it didn’t look like you were attempting to hide something. And, of course, saying ‘nothing’ in that tone of voice doesn’t help,” he added, smirking.
Buffy glanced behind her then turned back, grinning. “Well, it really is nothing,” she argued. Just, you know, Halloween!”
With that, she stepped away from the computer, and Giles saw what she’d done to the infernal machine: red plastic horns were attached to the top of the monitor, and one of the cables had been detached from something (unimportant, he hoped) and had had the end covered with red crepe paper to make a devil’s tail.
“You dressed up the computer for Halloween,” Giles frowned.
“Yep,” Buffy chirped, bouncing.
Giles shuddered, and turned away from the vision.
~~~~~
Ground Zero
“Bloody hell,” Giles roared.
Xander dropped to the floor and rolled out of the way as Giles stormed forward with an axe. “A little help?” he yelped in the general direction of his best friend.
“Got any suggestions?” Willow yelped in return, scattering to the other side of the library.
“You’re a witch,” Xander prompted, “do something!”
“Oh, sure,” Willow huffed as she dodged a spark of electricity, “every other day of the week it’s ‘Willow, be careful,’ and ‘Willow, are you sure you should be doing that?’ but the moment we get a possessed appliance it’s ‘Willow, fry the thing!’”
Oz frowned slightly at the machine-formerly-known-as-computer, then made his discreet way to Giles’ office. A moment later, he was back, there was a slight, unheard sound, and then the library was treated to the sight and sound of a relatively modern PC screaming and thrashing as it portrayed a living torch. Oz observed the situation thoughtfully for another moment before disappearing again, and returning with a fire extinguisher which he eventually used on the now motionless machine.
Silence fell on the library as the group stared at the mess of a check-out desk. Finally, Giles stirred, and focussed on Oz. “Tell me that wasn’t the Glen Fiddich!”
Oz glanced back to Giles’ office, then back to the man. He shrugged. “Oops.”
Note: A passing comment in another fic I wrote spawned this abomination as I read over it. Being the generous sort that I am, I decided to let the world share my … delight in this little fic.
Note 2: I actually wrote the first section a month ago, and then got … inspired. It happens. For which I apologise. Thoroughly and sincerely.
The group huddled around the desk, and examined it’s charcoaled appearance. “Okay,” Xander nodded, “so it’s Buffy’s fault for sticking the horns and tail on it, and Willow’s for leaving it booted up when she left the library yesterday.”
“That’s not fair,” Buffy whined, “how were we supposed to know that would happen?” she demanded, waving at the still-smoking plastic.
“Yeah,” Willow nodded firmly, “and I always leave it running, just in case I need it again quickly. Or, you know, Giles could actually use it.”
Xander blinked, Giles gaped, and Buffy snorted.
“Oh, yeah, like that’s going to happen,” Buffy scoffed.
“Actually, I’d be thinking possession,” Xander decided.
Willow bit her lip. “Okay, so it’s a bit far-fetched. But it’s Giles’ fault more than anyone else’s. If he didn’t keep saying … that about it, it would never have happened.”
Buffy considered that then nodded. “Willow did warn you,” she conceded.
Giles scowled at the remnants of the computer. “Infernal machine,” he muttered.
Twenty-four Hours Earlier
“What are you doing?”
Buffy started, and stepped away from the computer. “Nothing!”
Giles scowled at the girl. “That would sound a great deal more convincing if it didn’t look like you were attempting to hide something. And, of course, saying ‘nothing’ in that tone of voice doesn’t help,” he added, smirking.
Buffy glanced behind her then turned back, grinning. “Well, it really is nothing,” she argued. Just, you know, Halloween!”
With that, she stepped away from the computer, and Giles saw what she’d done to the infernal machine: red plastic horns were attached to the top of the monitor, and one of the cables had been detached from something (unimportant, he hoped) and had had the end covered with red crepe paper to make a devil’s tail.
“You dressed up the computer for Halloween,” Giles frowned.
“Yep,” Buffy chirped, bouncing.
Giles shuddered, and turned away from the vision.
Ground Zero
“Bloody hell,” Giles roared.
Xander dropped to the floor and rolled out of the way as Giles stormed forward with an axe. “A little help?” he yelped in the general direction of his best friend.
“Got any suggestions?” Willow yelped in return, scattering to the other side of the library.
“You’re a witch,” Xander prompted, “do something!”
“Oh, sure,” Willow huffed as she dodged a spark of electricity, “every other day of the week it’s ‘Willow, be careful,’ and ‘Willow, are you sure you should be doing that?’ but the moment we get a possessed appliance it’s ‘Willow, fry the thing!’”
Oz frowned slightly at the machine-formerly-known-as-computer, then made his discreet way to Giles’ office. A moment later, he was back, there was a slight, unheard sound, and then the library was treated to the sight and sound of a relatively modern PC screaming and thrashing as it portrayed a living torch. Oz observed the situation thoughtfully for another moment before disappearing again, and returning with a fire extinguisher which he eventually used on the now motionless machine.
Silence fell on the library as the group stared at the mess of a check-out desk. Finally, Giles stirred, and focussed on Oz. “Tell me that wasn’t the Glen Fiddich!”
Oz glanced back to Giles’ office, then back to the man. He shrugged. “Oops.”