Why You Don't Go As Buffy For Halloween
Dec. 3rd, 2011 01:21 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
misseDisclaimer: Don’t own or claim rights to Buffy the Vampire Slayer or The Big Bang Theory
Notes: YAHF, but from a different angle
“So I was thinking that this year we could do something different,” Howard announced as he walked in the door.
“Hello, Howard,” Leonard smiled, “how are you? Lovely weather we’re having today, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, yeah,” Howard rolled his eyes, “hi, hello, how are you: can I go on?”
“Maybe if you could tell us what you’re talking about,” Leonard prompted.
“Halloween,” Howard replied. The ‘of course’ went unmentioned.
“Halloween,” Leonard repeated. “Okay, so what’s your plan?”
“We go as the characters from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. But – get this – gender swapped,” he finished, grinning.
“Gender-swapped,” Leonard repeated, exchanging a glance with a, so far, silent Sheldon.
“Yeah,” Howard nodded. “You see, most of the characters in Buffy are kick-ass hot chicks, which is why it appeals to both men and women. Men get to see hot chicks beating things up, and girls get to see women beating up bad guys. It’s win-win,” he grinned.
“Okay,” Leonard nodded, deciding to humour his friend, “so who’s who?”
“Oh, that’s easy,” Sheldon dismissed, “clearly I’m Willow Rosenberg. After all, she is the smartest of the female Buffy characters. If we were going to do Angel, then I’d be Fred. But not Illyria.”
“I’ll bite,” Rajesh shrugged, “why not Illyria?”
“Because she is empathic and in tune with nature,” Sheldon explained, “and I think it is clear that I am neither.”
“Okay,” Howard drawled. “Moving on: what about the rest of us?”
“Oh, well Leonard’s Buffy, of course,” Sheldon considered. “You are Cordelia, but I can’t decide if Rajesh is Miss Calendar or Tara: it would depend what season we’re doing,” he nodded.
“Why am I Buffy, and why is Howard Cordelia?” Leonard asked suspiciously.
“Because you’re short, and Howard actually has a girlfriend,” Sheldon pointed out, as if it were obvious.
“Why can’t I be Cordelia?” Rajesh protested. “She had servants, I had servants; it’s obvious I should be Cordelia,” he reasoned.
“You can’t even talk to girls; there’s no way you could be Cordelia,” Howard argued.
“And, besides,” Sheldon added, “Miss Calendar was a foreigner with a dark secret, while Tara was going to college.”
“So a person from the tribe that cursed Angelus, or a witch from Tennessee,” Rajesh pouted.
“Tara’s home state was never specified, but the actress came from [wherever],” Sheldon noted.
“But what about the rest of the Scoobies?” Leonard asked.
~~~~~
“So us guys are going as the women of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and we were wondering if you would come with us,” Leonard explained quickly.
Penny frowned at him doubtfully. “Who would I be going as?”
“Xander Harris,” Leonard announced. “No, wait, it’s perfect for you,” he added in a hopefully persuasive tone. “He’s the heart of the group, and he gets things done even if he isn’t one of the super-powered ones.”
“I suppose,” Penny conceded.
“Also,” Leonard added, “he’s the second-most popular character in Buffy fanfiction, after Buffy, but before Willow, who Sheldon is going as.”
Penny raised her eyebrows thoughtfully. “Is that so?”
~~~~~
“So what is it exactly that you are proposing?” Amy asked.
“It is our yearly custom to celebrate Halloween by dressing up as various superheroes and/or their sidekicks, and attending the festivities at the comic-book store,” Sheldon explained.
“And what is the theme for this year?” Amy enquired.
“We are dressing as cross-gender variations of characters from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Thusly, I am Willow Rosenberg, Leonard is Buffy Summers, Howard is Cordelia Chase, and Rajesh is either Jenny Calendar or Tara Maclay, he hasn’t decided,” Sheldon shrugged.
“So we girls are going as the male characters of the show?” Amy clarified.
“Yes,” Sheldon nodded earnestly. “Penny is going as Xander Harris, since she keeps people’s spirits up with her sense of humour and her unusual clothing choices. But Leonard said he would put it differently,” he added conscientiously.
“That’s probably for the best,” Amy agreed. “Penny takes a great deal of pride in her fashion sense, even if it is a little…”
“Strange?” Sheldon offered.
Amy hummed thoughtfully. “So which character do you see me going as?”
“Oh, Rupert Giles, of course: he is the most highly educated male character in the show,” Sheldon reasoned. “After all, to be a curator of a museum requires a certain amount of post-graduate education, and you are the best educated female of my acquaintance, except possibly for Leonard’s mother. And that would only be because she’s older than you, and has had the time to complete more degrees.”
“Quite true,” Amy nodded. “And what do you envisage my costume would entail?”
“A tweed jacket and either a cup and saucer or a large book, preferably in Sumerian,” Sheldon decided.
“That sounds appropriate,” Amy agreed.
~~~~~
“Halloween, huh?” Bernadette asked.
“Yep. We’re all going as the gender-swapped versions from Buffy,” Howard enthused.
“Oh, so you’re Buffy, and Leonard is Willow, and Sheldon is … I give up: who’s Sheldon going as?” Bernadette asked, confused.
“Well, actually,” Howard chuckled nervously, “Leonard’s going as Buffy, and Sheldon is going as Willow. I’m going as Cordelia, since I have a girlfriend,” he leered, “which would be you,” he leered again, “and Rajesh is still trying to make up his mind between Jenny and Tara.”
“So the techno-pagan or the lesbian witch,” Bernadette clarified.
“Yep,” Howard nodded. “And we were thinking that you could be either Angel, Oz or Spike. Except that if you’re Angel, then you’re Leonard’s boyfriend, and if you’re Oz, you’re Sheldon’s boyfriend.” He waited for her to finish shuddering before going on. “If you’re Spike, then you’re powerful and sexy, and one of the most popular characters in Buffy,” he grinned.
“Right. So it’s a vampire, a werewolf, or a vampire?” Bernadette asked.
“Well, yeah,” Howard winced.
Bernadette hummed, frowning.
~~~~~
Sheldon and Leonard staggered back into their apartment and dropped down into their seats, discarding their wigs onto the coffee table. “Well, clearly we’re going to need to keep Penny close by,” Sheldon announced. “After all, I’m going to need her to talk me down from destroying the world when Rajesh dies in a few years.”
“Whose bright idea was it to dress up as characters from Buffy?” Leonard asked rhetorically. “Oh, that’s right: it was Howard’s. Well, at least Bernadette turned back into a human again.”
“Point,” Sheldon conceded. “Now I have to figure out how magic works with physics.; being a witch and all now.”
Leonard looked at his friend then stood and headed off to his room. “This is too much for this former Slayer. Buffy was never meant for deep thoughts, especially not in high school. I’m going to bed.”
Sheldon waved absently, and watched as his red wig rose off the coffee table. “Good-bye sonic death ray, hello magic witchy powers,” he smirked.
Notes: YAHF, but from a different angle
“So I was thinking that this year we could do something different,” Howard announced as he walked in the door.
“Hello, Howard,” Leonard smiled, “how are you? Lovely weather we’re having today, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, yeah,” Howard rolled his eyes, “hi, hello, how are you: can I go on?”
“Maybe if you could tell us what you’re talking about,” Leonard prompted.
“Halloween,” Howard replied. The ‘of course’ went unmentioned.
“Halloween,” Leonard repeated. “Okay, so what’s your plan?”
“We go as the characters from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. But – get this – gender swapped,” he finished, grinning.
“Gender-swapped,” Leonard repeated, exchanging a glance with a, so far, silent Sheldon.
“Yeah,” Howard nodded. “You see, most of the characters in Buffy are kick-ass hot chicks, which is why it appeals to both men and women. Men get to see hot chicks beating things up, and girls get to see women beating up bad guys. It’s win-win,” he grinned.
“Okay,” Leonard nodded, deciding to humour his friend, “so who’s who?”
“Oh, that’s easy,” Sheldon dismissed, “clearly I’m Willow Rosenberg. After all, she is the smartest of the female Buffy characters. If we were going to do Angel, then I’d be Fred. But not Illyria.”
“I’ll bite,” Rajesh shrugged, “why not Illyria?”
“Because she is empathic and in tune with nature,” Sheldon explained, “and I think it is clear that I am neither.”
“Okay,” Howard drawled. “Moving on: what about the rest of us?”
“Oh, well Leonard’s Buffy, of course,” Sheldon considered. “You are Cordelia, but I can’t decide if Rajesh is Miss Calendar or Tara: it would depend what season we’re doing,” he nodded.
“Why am I Buffy, and why is Howard Cordelia?” Leonard asked suspiciously.
“Because you’re short, and Howard actually has a girlfriend,” Sheldon pointed out, as if it were obvious.
“Why can’t I be Cordelia?” Rajesh protested. “She had servants, I had servants; it’s obvious I should be Cordelia,” he reasoned.
“You can’t even talk to girls; there’s no way you could be Cordelia,” Howard argued.
“And, besides,” Sheldon added, “Miss Calendar was a foreigner with a dark secret, while Tara was going to college.”
“So a person from the tribe that cursed Angelus, or a witch from Tennessee,” Rajesh pouted.
“Tara’s home state was never specified, but the actress came from [wherever],” Sheldon noted.
“But what about the rest of the Scoobies?” Leonard asked.
“So us guys are going as the women of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and we were wondering if you would come with us,” Leonard explained quickly.
Penny frowned at him doubtfully. “Who would I be going as?”
“Xander Harris,” Leonard announced. “No, wait, it’s perfect for you,” he added in a hopefully persuasive tone. “He’s the heart of the group, and he gets things done even if he isn’t one of the super-powered ones.”
“I suppose,” Penny conceded.
“Also,” Leonard added, “he’s the second-most popular character in Buffy fanfiction, after Buffy, but before Willow, who Sheldon is going as.”
Penny raised her eyebrows thoughtfully. “Is that so?”
“So what is it exactly that you are proposing?” Amy asked.
“It is our yearly custom to celebrate Halloween by dressing up as various superheroes and/or their sidekicks, and attending the festivities at the comic-book store,” Sheldon explained.
“And what is the theme for this year?” Amy enquired.
“We are dressing as cross-gender variations of characters from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Thusly, I am Willow Rosenberg, Leonard is Buffy Summers, Howard is Cordelia Chase, and Rajesh is either Jenny Calendar or Tara Maclay, he hasn’t decided,” Sheldon shrugged.
“So we girls are going as the male characters of the show?” Amy clarified.
“Yes,” Sheldon nodded earnestly. “Penny is going as Xander Harris, since she keeps people’s spirits up with her sense of humour and her unusual clothing choices. But Leonard said he would put it differently,” he added conscientiously.
“That’s probably for the best,” Amy agreed. “Penny takes a great deal of pride in her fashion sense, even if it is a little…”
“Strange?” Sheldon offered.
Amy hummed thoughtfully. “So which character do you see me going as?”
“Oh, Rupert Giles, of course: he is the most highly educated male character in the show,” Sheldon reasoned. “After all, to be a curator of a museum requires a certain amount of post-graduate education, and you are the best educated female of my acquaintance, except possibly for Leonard’s mother. And that would only be because she’s older than you, and has had the time to complete more degrees.”
“Quite true,” Amy nodded. “And what do you envisage my costume would entail?”
“A tweed jacket and either a cup and saucer or a large book, preferably in Sumerian,” Sheldon decided.
“That sounds appropriate,” Amy agreed.
“Halloween, huh?” Bernadette asked.
“Yep. We’re all going as the gender-swapped versions from Buffy,” Howard enthused.
“Oh, so you’re Buffy, and Leonard is Willow, and Sheldon is … I give up: who’s Sheldon going as?” Bernadette asked, confused.
“Well, actually,” Howard chuckled nervously, “Leonard’s going as Buffy, and Sheldon is going as Willow. I’m going as Cordelia, since I have a girlfriend,” he leered, “which would be you,” he leered again, “and Rajesh is still trying to make up his mind between Jenny and Tara.”
“So the techno-pagan or the lesbian witch,” Bernadette clarified.
“Yep,” Howard nodded. “And we were thinking that you could be either Angel, Oz or Spike. Except that if you’re Angel, then you’re Leonard’s boyfriend, and if you’re Oz, you’re Sheldon’s boyfriend.” He waited for her to finish shuddering before going on. “If you’re Spike, then you’re powerful and sexy, and one of the most popular characters in Buffy,” he grinned.
“Right. So it’s a vampire, a werewolf, or a vampire?” Bernadette asked.
“Well, yeah,” Howard winced.
Bernadette hummed, frowning.
Sheldon and Leonard staggered back into their apartment and dropped down into their seats, discarding their wigs onto the coffee table. “Well, clearly we’re going to need to keep Penny close by,” Sheldon announced. “After all, I’m going to need her to talk me down from destroying the world when Rajesh dies in a few years.”
“Whose bright idea was it to dress up as characters from Buffy?” Leonard asked rhetorically. “Oh, that’s right: it was Howard’s. Well, at least Bernadette turned back into a human again.”
“Point,” Sheldon conceded. “Now I have to figure out how magic works with physics.; being a witch and all now.”
Leonard looked at his friend then stood and headed off to his room. “This is too much for this former Slayer. Buffy was never meant for deep thoughts, especially not in high school. I’m going to bed.”
Sheldon waved absently, and watched as his red wig rose off the coffee table. “Good-bye sonic death ray, hello magic witchy powers,” he smirked.